Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
