I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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