Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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