i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
