I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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