I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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