Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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