My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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