It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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