This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
