Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
