we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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