Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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