im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
