One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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