a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
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A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
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Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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