Semen is not good for contacts.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
