I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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