So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
