i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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