He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
