I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
