Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
