I got chris browned last night
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
