if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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