We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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