I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
