Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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