margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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