it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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