Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
