I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
