please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i came on her dog
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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