im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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