Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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