just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
