like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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