I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
