So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
