We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Alive.
So much puke
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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