i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
