I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
