I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
