Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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