Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
