The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
