READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
as a side note pls kill me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
