i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
