and i looked up. we had an audience...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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