i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
