So drunk its hurt
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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