im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
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I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
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You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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