Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
