I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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