I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
