Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
