if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
