Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Watching her eat just hurts me
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
