She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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