puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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