i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
